He made Israel wander in the wilderness forty years, until all the generation that had done evil in His sight was gone. You are right that the Lord’s anger was aroused. “Thank you, children! Caleb and I thank you. “Well, yes, amen and amen!” Joshua said, again miraculously able to be heard by all. Can't we just stay home and read our Bibles, rather than be elbow-to-elbow with a bunch of freaks?" Joshua and Caleb start talking and Smart Aleck Sunday School Kid (henceforth referred to as SASS because) would be like, "Okay, you're just reciting copy-and-paste from the Bible as opposed to anything that would provide actually personal insight into the events. Though the idea with that many kids and so few supervisors, the daycare hasn't morphed into a cross between Thunderdome and Springfield Elementary as run by Ned Flanders.I can only suspend my disbelief for so long, people.
I feel dirty about it, but I must be fair. I suppose I could, if I wanted to be super anal-retentive, draw up some specks to map out how big a room would have to be to seat thousands of kids and however many adults who came to this thing, but it is Heaven, where there are no limitations on materials, labor, and time, so I'll let Ellanjay off the hook here. Ellanjay haven't been around kids like at all. I could also point out that we have a hard time getting three or four adults to sing Happy Birthday in key (and at a reasonable tempo, rather than a dirge-like one), so yeah, all the thousands of kids reciting it all in perfect unison? That sound you hear is me pointing and laughing. That and Ellanjay have proven again and again that they would much rather deal in sweeping clichés regarding the Bible, rather than any of the stuff that makes you think, so that verse would be right done their alley. It would have made more sense to go with the tail end of Joshua 24:15 and have the kids say, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Shorter and easier to learn and it has fewer confusing words for them to stumble over.ĭon't tell me that Ellanjay hasn't heard of this verse it's one of the most popular ones that gets plastered on numerous Christian knick-knacks. It also is a rather large, unwieldy verse you're asking them to learn. And I'm like, "Seriously you chose that verse for them to recite?" Because how many kids would be able to easily pronounce words like Jephunneh and Kenizzite, without tripping over them. Those verses are from Numbers 32:10-12 for those of you wondering. It pays to know the weird parts of the Bible.Īnyway, Cam-Cam decides to get the kids ready by having them recite the Bible verse they had learned:Ĭameron cued the kids, and from thousands of young voices came: “ ’ The Lord’s anger was aroused on that day, and He swore an oath, saying, “Surely none of the men who came up from Egypt, from twenty years old and above, shall see the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, because they have not wholly followed Me, except Caleb the son of Jephunneh, the Kenizzite, and Joshua the son of Nun, for they have wholly followed the Lord.”’ ” Would this book even be long enough to qualify as a novella after that? But you better believe I will turn my inner Smart-Aleck Sunday School Kid loose. Were it not for the fact that I'm lazy, I'd do an experiment, see how high the word count is for this book if you cut out all the copy-and-paste stuff from the Bible and the mothereffin' front matter.
No, this week, we're getting Copy-and-Paste from Caleb and Joshua. I suppose I could try to read something into "The Lord's anger was aroused," but I don't think I will. I don't know if you guys were hoping and praying for it, but there will probably be no creepy sex stuff. If you're wondering about the post title, I couldn't think of anything, so I decided to go with an earworm.
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